Kimonophobic: Bold Gear for Brave Souls.

Uncensored
Coming soon
Censored

Do you train with dorks who say "gi makes you better at no gi" or "all the ADCC champs train in the gi" now you can smother tap them in a rash guard that is rage baiting them.

TROLL YOUR WAY TO VICTORY

We make jiu-jitsu rash guards and kits to challenge the traditional, and in our opinion, false dogmas popularized by mid boomer coaches.

For the Softies

*

For the Softies *

Kimonophobic (censored)
$60.00

Ready to troll your gi-obsessed coach but not quite bold enough to go full savage? These censored fight shorts are your perfect compromise. With a toned-down design that still gets the point across, these shorts let you dip your toes into the no-gi rebellion without diving headfirst into controversy. Perfect for those who want to show some love for no-gi while keeping it just a little more “friendly” for those who can’t handle the full uncensored burn.

Key Features:

  • Premium Stretch Fabric: Comfortable, flexible, and ready for anything—whether you're rolling or playing it safe.

  • Moisture-Wicking Technology: Stay cool and dry, even while holding back on the full trolling potential.

  • Durable & Lightweight: Built to take a beating during those intense rolls, but soft enough for the more sensitive types.

  • Censored Graphic Design: A subtler approach to no-gi supremacy. You’ll still get a few looks, but maybe not the full eye-rolls from the gi purists.

  • Adjustable Waistband: So you can tighten things up when it’s time to move fast or loosen them up when you’re just hanging out pretending to respect gi culture.

Wear these if you want to take the edge off the trolling but still make sure your coach knows where you stand. For the bold, uncensored version? We’ll just say—you know where to find it.

Kimonophobic (censored) jiu jitsu rash guard long sleeve
$60.00

For the Softies Who Can’t Handle the Truth

So, you want to troll your gi-loving coach but need to dial it back a little? This censored version of the rash guard is for those who want to show some love for no-gi, but maybe, just maybe, aren't ready to fully embrace the savage truth. Featuring a more “tasteful” version of the original design, it’s perfect for those who are a little too sensitive for the real deal but still want to subtly mock the old school gi culture.

Key Features:

  • Premium Anti-odor Fabric: Smell fresh while pretending to care about gi culture (but we all know you’re just waiting for no-gi class).

  • Full Range of Motion: Because you still need to move, even if you're softening the blow for your gi-obsessed coach.

  • Moisture-Wicking Technology: Keep it cool while you hold back the full force of your no-gi love.

  • Durable & Flexible: Just like your "I'm not that hardcore" attitude, this rash guard can handle a lot—just not everything.

  • Censored Graphic Design: A toned-down version for those who want to troll, but don’t have the guts to go all in. You'll be almost the talk of the mat.

Wear this if you want to pretend you're tough but aren't quite ready for the full no-gi experience. For the rest of us, well... we’ll keep rocking the uncensored version.

kimonophobic t-shirt
$32.00

Troll Your Old School Coach in Style

Throw on this savage tee and let your gi-loving coach know exactly how you feel about that clunky, sweat-soaked, traditional uniform. Featuring a cheeky graphic that pokes fun at gi culture, this t-shirt is your ultimate weapon in trolling the purists and showing the world how much cooler no-gi is. Whether you're rolling or just hanging out at the bar, like Danaher, you’ll be flexing your style and sending a not-so-subtle message about your preferences.

Key Features:

  • Premium Cotton Blend: Soft, breathable, and perfect for wearing whether you’re on the mats or kicking back after class.

  • Relaxed Fit: Because you don’t need to be restricted by your shirt when you're already breaking free from the gi.

  • Graphic Design: Bold enough to get a reaction, but still stylish enough to wear anywhere. You’ll definitely be the talk of the mat.

  • Durable: Built to last through countless rolls, sweat, and those “how can you disrespect the gi?” comments.

Wear it proudly, and let your gi-obsessed coach know the future of BJJ is no-gi, whether they like it or not.

kimonophobic jiujitsu —

Kimonophobic long sleeve rash guards
$60.00

Troll Your Old School Coach in Style

Throw on this savage rash guard and let your gi-loving coach know exactly how you feel about that clunky, sweat-soaked, traditional uniform. Featuring a cheeky graphic that pokes fun at gi culture, this rash guard is your ultimate weapon in trolling the purists and showing the world how much cooler no-gi is. Whether you're rolling or just hanging out at the bar in a rash guard, like Danaher, you’ll be flexing your style and sending a not-so-subtle message about your preferences.

Key Features:

  • Premium Anti-odor Fabric: Keep smelling fresh even when your coach’s lecture about the gi gets old (which, honestly, it will).

  • Full Range of Motion: Because you know you’re too busy going for submissions to be worried about constricting, restrictive fabric.

  • Moisture-Wicking Technology: Let the gi sweat drip from your soul, not your skin.

  • Durable & Flexible: Just like your love for no-gi, this rash guard can take a beating and still perform at a high level.

  • Graphic Design: Subtle enough to wear during class but bold enough to get a reaction. You’ll be the talk of the mat (for all the right reasons).

Wear it proudly, and let your gi-obsessed coach know the future of BJJ is no-gi, whether they like it or not.

Kimonophobic jiujitsu rash guard short sleeved
$60.00

Troll Your Old School Coach in Style

Throw on this savage rash guard and let your gi-loving coach know exactly how you feel about that clunky, sweat-soaked, traditional uniform. Featuring a cheeky graphic that pokes fun at gi culture, this rash guard is your ultimate weapon in trolling the purists and showing the world how much cooler no-gi is. Whether you're rolling or just hanging out at the bar in a rash guard, like Danaher, you’ll be flexing your style and sending a not-so-subtle message about your preferences.

Key Features:

  • Premium Anti-odor Fabric: Keep smelling fresh even when your coach’s lecture about the gi gets old (which, honestly, it will).

  • Full Range of Motion: Because you know you’re too busy going for submissions to be worried about constricting, restrictive fabric.

  • Moisture-Wicking Technology: Let the gi sweat drip from your soul, not your skin.

  • Durable & Flexible: Just like your love for no-gi, this rash guard can take a beating and still perform at a high level.

  • Graphic Design: Subtle enough to wear during class but bold enough to get a reaction. You’ll be the talk of the mat (for all the right reasons).

Wear it proudly, and let your gi-obsessed coach know the future of BJJ is no-gi, whether they like it or not.

Women’s

kimonophobic womens jiujitsu rash guard short sleved (censored)
$60.00

For the Softies Who Can’t Handle the Truth

So, you want to troll your gi-loving coach but need to dial it back a little? This censored version of the "Gi Who?" rash guard is for those who want to show some love for no-gi, but maybe, just maybe, aren't ready to fully embrace the savage truth. Featuring a more “tasteful” version of the original design, it’s perfect for those who are a little too sensitive for the real deal but still want to subtly mock the old school gi culture.

Key Features:

  • Premium Anti-odor Fabric: Smell fresh while pretending to care about gi culture (but we all know you’re just waiting for no-gi class).

  • Full Range of Motion: Because you still need to move, even if you're softening the blow for your gi-obsessed coach.

  • Moisture-Wicking Technology: Keep it cool while you hold back the full force of your no-gi love.

  • Durable & Flexible: Just like your "I'm not that hardcore" attitude, this rash guard can handle a lot—just not everything.

  • Censored Graphic Design: A toned-down version for those who want to troll, but don’t have the guts to go all in. You'll be almost the talk of the mat.

Wear this if you want to pretend you're tough but aren't quite ready for the full no-gi experience. For the rest of us, well... we’ll keep rocking the uncensored version.

Kimonophoic womens jiujitsu rash guard (censored) long sleved
$60.00

For the Softies Who Can’t Handle the Truth

So, you want to troll your gi-loving coach but need to dial it back a little? This censored version of the rash guard is for those who want to show some love for no-gi, but maybe, just maybe, aren't ready to fully embrace the savage truth. Featuring a more “tasteful” version of the original design, it’s perfect for those who are a little too sensitive for the real deal but still want to subtly mock the old school gi culture.

Key Features:

  • Premium Anti-odor Fabric: Smell fresh while pretending to care about gi culture (but we all know you’re just waiting for no-gi class).

  • Full Range of Motion: Because you still need to move, even if you're softening the blow for your gi-obsessed coach.

  • Moisture-Wicking Technology: Keep it cool while you hold back the full force of your no-gi love.

  • Durable & Flexible: Just like your "I'm not that hardcore" attitude, this rash guard can handle a lot—just not everything.

  • Censored Graphic Design: A toned-down version for those who want to troll, but don’t have the guts to go all in. You'll be almost the talk of the mat.

Wear this if you want to pretend you're tough but aren't quite ready for the full no-gi experience. For the rest of us, well... we’ll keep rocking the uncensored version.